by The delay in the age of having children and the transformation of personal, social and family relationships are leading many women to undertake solo motherhood. In Spanish clinics they have increased by 36% in the last five years.
ADVERTISINGGone are the days when social norms dictated that having children was synonymous with being a couple. Nowadays, An increasing number of women are choosing to embark on the journey of solo motherhood.
Olga, who prefers not to reveal her last name, decided to undergo treatment in vitro fertilization at 39 years old. “The desire to be a mother was always there,” she admits.
“I realized that time was not on my side and I had to make a decision,” he explains. “I had to decide whether to preserve my eggs for a future partner or pursuing motherhood on my own.
Olga’s decision to embrace solo motherhood was the result of long reflection and the determination that Not having a partner at that time was not going to limit his personal aspirations. “I decided to have a child, which was what I wanted and then, later, if I found a partner, then I would have to have a child,” she explains.
Navigating the complexities of solo parenting presented its challenges for Olga, but found strength in the support of his family. “I received immense help from my parents and siblings,” she shares.
Reflecting on her journey, Olga acknowledges the evolving perceptions of single motherhood. “The concept of family is changing“he observes.
“It changes slowly, but even older ladies tell you now that they wish things had looked like that in their time, because it’s true that Before, many people got married just to have a child.“.
As Olga’s daughter approaches her third birthday, she emphasizes the importance of surrounding her with love and support. “I knew I wasn’t going to have a father., at least at birth, butI wanted him to have many father figures. I think that is enough to raise a child: give him love and affection. That he has people who love him, be it his father or his grandfather or his uncle or whoever,” she says.
More than 40,000 treatments in four years
In a world where traditional family structures are evolving, the phenomenon of single motherhood is gaining ground like never before. What was once considered unconventional is now becoming a viable option for many women around the world. world.
In Spain, in particular, there has been a notable increase in single mothers by choice. According to data from the Spanish Fertility Society (SEF), The number of women undergoing solo fertility treatment has doubled between 2016 and 2020. Today they represent almost one in ten procedures in assisted reproduction clinics.
Of the 127,420 assisted reproduction treatments that were performed in 2020 – the last year for which data is available – a total of 10,193 corresponded to women who declared they did not have a partner.
In the four years between 2016 and 2020, this population group carried out 45,288 cycles of in vitro fertilizationthe most common technique when a sperm donor partner is not available.
It is difficult to quantify the number of single mothers by choice, since no data is extracted from the registry, where They only ask about your marital statusand because the number of in vitro fertilization treatments necessary to become pregnant varies depending on the mother’s age and her individual fertility.
“For young women with good ovarian reserve, fewer cycles may be needed, while older women with reduced ovarian reserve They may require more cycles and advanced techniques,” explains gynecologist Rosa María Daurelio, a doctor at the Bernabéu Institute in Madrid, specialized in assisted reproduction.
In the Bernabéu Institute clinics Mothers who go to the center to have children alone has increased by 36% in the last five yearsand the number of consultations from women who have been interested in individual motherhood has grown by 62% from 2019 to 2023.
The average age of this population group is 41.7 years, but as Dr. Daurelio explains, There are more and more women who advance their decision. “In daily practice we also see very young patients. That is, there are patients who are already 36 or 37 years old and decide that even if they do not have a partner, they feel prepared.”
“It is not just the older patient who is actually already at the end of her productive agebut there are young, independent people who have a good job, and if they decide to have a child alone they can do it perfectly,” he adds.
“We have many patients, for example, who have just gotten divorced, that is, they have invested a lot in a partner. And time passes and then the couples break up and there comes a time when a woman puts the decision on a scale: ‘Do I wait for the man of my life or do I do it alone?‘In short, it depends a lot on the motherhood instinct you have. There are people who have it very strongly and would never give up this type of experience.”
ADVERTISINGThe Rise of Single Motherhood: A Cultural Change
One of the drivers behind this paradigm shift is the women empowerment, driven by economic independence and a redefinition of the concept of themselves and their life aspirations. They delay their decision to undertake maternitybut They are not willing to give it up for the mere fact of not having a partner.
This delay can be attributed to several factors, including the pursuit of education, career advancement, and the search for financial stability. “This is a group of women usually with a high educational level and very aware that there is a limited biological margin to have children“explains Teresa Castro Martín, doctor in sociology and researcher at the Center for Human and Social Sciences of the CSIC.
Most women still see motherhood as a project shared as a couple. “When we ask about the ideal of having children, the ideal of a family, the majority say that it is as a couple; not necessarily a married couple, but a couple to share parenting,” says Castro.
“It doesn’t mean that they give up having a partner,” adds the sociologist, “but They consider that it can be something independent of having a childand then maybe they have a partner but they are not going to wait to start motherhood.
Couple dynamics in Spain are increasingly diverse and plural, points out Teresa Castro. They no longer follow the traditional sequence of first courtship, marriage and first childbut the trajectories are more changing.
ADVERTISING“There is a tendency towards prolonged periods of living without a partner or with a romantic partner but living in separate homes. The decision to live together is later compared to other European countriesdue to job instability and difficulty in accessing housing.
But for the CSIC researcher, the big change corresponds to the women’s expectations of their partners. Women aspire to co-responsible relationship in housework and childcare.
“There is an aspiration on the part of women for their partner to share care and that affects the decision to have a child. Life is very long, but the decision to have children perhaps occurs in just a few years, out of 34 to 38”.
“If in that age range you do not have a partner, or you have a partner who is not equal enoughor that she does not want children or that she has the same life plan, because that is when the woman can decide to undertake motherhood alone, because she now has economic stability.”
Furthermore, the change in perceptions about single motherhood has contributed to its normalization within society. Previously stigmatized, single motherhood is now viewed through a lens of acceptance and support.
ADVERTISING“Social attitudes towards single motherhood have undergone a profound transformation, with greater tolerance and recognition of diverse family structures.”
Despite progress toward acceptance, challenges remain for single mothers, especially when it comes to the complexities of solo parenting. The sociologist recognizes the importance of a strong support network for mothersemphasizing the need for resources and community assistance.
