by TIEMPO consulted with several experts to help you know what are those financial ‘red flags’ that you cannot miss in a relationship. Take note!
‘Clear accounts and thick chocolate’. This popular saying perfectly summarizes what should happen in a relationship when it comes to finances, because talking about money on time, although it can be uncomfortable, avoids many bad times.
(Read also: The 6 signs that your partner always manipulates you and you don’t realize it: psychologist).
“How a person handles the issue of money says a lot about how they handle themselves emotionally. So it is something that must be considered when considering whether or not to continue a relationship.”, highlighted the renowned Argentine sexologist Ezequiel López Peralta in an interview with EL TIEMPO.
In fact, it is very common to read testimonies on social networks of people whose ex-partners left them debts, were manipulative to get what they wanted, exercised economic violence, did not reciprocate the other’s efforts, or were simply extremely stingy. Bad experiences that could have been avoided.
Talking about money provides peace of mind, stability and financial strength to the couple.
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Why is it important to talk about money in a relationship?
While it is true that ‘man does not live by bread alone’, it cannot be denied that Money is significant, to the extent that it is related to the possibility of satisfying basic needs and with access to leisure and entertainment.
(Of interest: The most dangerous moment in a couple and what mistakes to avoid, according to an expert).
An idea with which sexologist López Peralta agrees, who also adds that: “In the past, it was clear that it was the man who made the financial contribution in a relationship. But now that times and gender roles have changed, it is definitely a topic that should be talked about and should not be taken for granted, mainly in stable couples in which more permanent sharing is already taking shape, which implies more expenses”.
From the financial perspective, the definition of economic parameters generates healthy relationships
Definitely, Having clarity about each person’s income and economic capacity is not synonymous with materialism, but rather a very important factor in coexistence.. In fact, professionals Paola Beltrán and Ezequiel López Peralta agree that, precisely, finances are a very common topic of conflict in couples’ consultations.
“There are several problems that are discussed in consultation regarding money. It may be because one of the members has a higher income and there is a perception of little equality regarding contributions or because there is a feeling that what is provided is not validated. Sometimes, there is similar income, but there are no shared interests, so life projects are not compatible and a lot of discomfort is experienced.”, highlighted psychologist Beltrán.
(You can read: The 15 questions that will reveal if your partner is strong: would you dare to ask them?).
Having clarity about income, debts, level of expenses and life expectations allows you to establish agreements and limits in a relationship.
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Friend, friend, realize! The signs that cannot be missed, according to experts
Before starting a relationship, people tend to be very cautious with their hearts and are usually alert to any behavior or action that indicates whether or not they can take the next step. That moment is the right one for analyze the financial habits of the other, since they are also related to personality and even with the values of each individual.
You have to be consistent, if you propose an equitable relationship, it has to be consistent at all levels.
(Also: Which couples last the longest according to science: those born between friends or lovers?).
At this point, public accountant Angélica Beltrán adds two warning signs that cannot be missed, such as “constant discussions about the management that one of the parties gives to their finances, including reproaches, insults or derogatory comparisons, and permanent lies. in terms of real economic capacity or acquired debts.”
So avoid bad times and arguments, or what is worse, a debt, and take into account the financial ‘red flags’ that tell you that you should leave your relationship or not start one, according to the experts at Resolve your Debt, consulted by TIME:
- Pay everything with credit card: You make excessive purchases without taking into account your level of debt (this means that you do not have adequate control of your income and you only waste money without considering basic or important needs).
- Leave payments for later: you do not meet your financial obligations on time (not having a good payment habit generates a negative report in the credit bureaus and exposes you to falling into unwanted over-indebtedness).
- Do not talk about finances for fear of revealing information: hide financial information or debts (this generates financial distrust with the partner and causes an imbalance in the plans to grow their capital).
- Spending without conscience, not thinking about the future or savings: you do not like to save (it is very important to have a percentage allocated to savings for some emergency or eventuality, so you can use this savings cushion without having to go into debt, without leaving aside the fact that through savings you will be able to fulfill a common dream or trip desired).
- Avoid payment agreements: the division of expenses is unequal (when starting a relationship where they must share expenses, it is ideal that all contributions be based on salary or if they prefer in equal parts).
- Allow them to manage your finances: only your partner can handle the money (Ideally, both people have the same level of responsibility for financial obligations, to avoid bad decisions or poor management of money).
Remember that Being in a relationship also has responsibilities and one of them is, precisely, assuming the expenses that life as a couple represents.. Therefore, not reaching financial agreements and not defining the non-negotiable minimums for each person in this matter can represent a problem, affect coexistence and, finally, end love.
According to experts, it is necessary to establish clear expectations regarding the minimum economic characteristics necessary or tolerable in a future couple, as is done with emotional and physical aspects.
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“It is vital to start questioning the myth of romantic love that has sold us the idea that love can do anything. This has created an imaginary in which elements such as the economy as a couple, agreements regarding expenses, the possibilities of acquiring goods, etc. are not evaluated in a broader, clearer and more conscious way. Which requires a joint organization and that goes hand in hand with asking questions that may be uncomfortable, but are very necessary,” concludes psychologist Beltrán.
jesbon@eltiempo.com
