by a while ago in social networks you can see videos of parents inviting their daughters on a first dateor they wait for them with flowers as if they were brides or They send love letters.
The new trend of parents acting as daughters’ boyfriends can have a negative impact on mental health.
Regarding these practices, one of the first to draw attention to the fact and its impact on mental health was the Argentine psychologist Claudia Messing through her Instagram account, which showed horror at these types of interactions.
The truth is overexposure to romantic behaviors It can cause confusion in girls and also affect the perception of what is healthy in a relationship.
When fathers assume roles typical of a romantic couple, girls may experience a confusion of parental and filial functionswhich could impact their perception of relationships and generate alienated expectations, in addition to taking romantic love as the only possibility of love.
Romantic love has been one of the most powerful tools to control and subjugate women, since they were children. Out of love, women have clung to situations of mistreatment, abuse and exploitationbecause that is how it has been naturalized throughout history.
For love, women have sacrificed themselves, annulled themselves and lost their freedom. In her writings, the Spanish feminist anthropologist Coral Herrera Gómezexamines how romantic love can perpetuate traditional gender roles and create unrealistic expectations about relationships.
In them he criticizes the idea that love must be passionate, eternal and sweet, pointing out that this conception can lead to unhealthy relationships Yet the idealization of suffering in the name of love. Girls and boys who grow up with this idea of love feel required to comply with commands that damage their mental health: “being the man of the house” thought of as the eternal provider who should not complain or cry and “being the perfect woman” who is fragile, loving, but who at the same time can endure the impossible.
In the videos on social networks you can see the girls dressed up waiting for their father to pick them up from their date with a car, emulating a romantic date typical of adults in certain social classes.
These practices can raise questions and concerns about appropriate boundaries within the father-daughter relationship and how these interactions are perceived from the perspective of the child. prohibition of incest.
The prohibition of incest is a cultural and social norm that is the basis of psychic structuring. NO forges a psychic mark on the subject from the first months of life, until the exogamous exit. He CANNOT be dad’s girlfriend and he can’t be mom’s boyfriend. It is based In the prohibition of incest, this operation, like parental prohibitions, are what promote the establishment of psychic instances.
While gestures of affection between parents and children, such as giving flowers or writing love letters, can be expressions of love and closeness, It is important to maintain a clear differentiation between filial love and romantic love. The gestures that erase the boundaries between these forms of love They can cause confusion in children about what are appropriate relationships and emotional consequences.
In the context of incest prohibition, these concerns may be especially relevant if interactions between parents and children suggest an imitation or symbolization of romantic relationships, although it is rare for these gestures to be intentionally incestuous.it is important to consider how they are perceived and interpreted from a cultural and social and psychological point of view.
Some people may see these actions as a way to strengthen the bond between father and daughter, increasing girls’ self-esteem, especially. But the opposite happens“being dad’s girlfriend” breaks the possibility of an exogamous departure from the nuclear family and can perpetuate the daughter in an impossible quest.
Another striking issue is that these acted and viralized quotes are not made with mothers and male children. This disparity reflects traditional gender roles and cultural expectations about what interactions between parents and children of different genders should be like.
It is important to reflect on these differences and consider how they influence the perception of family relationships and the construction of gender identities.
In girls, the pressure to meet parents’ expectations by acting as girlfriends, without fully understanding what it is about (all the videos are of little girls) can create an emotional burden on girls, generating anxiety and stress for not meet the demands of their parents.
This type of pressure can affect your emotional well-being and self-esteemreinforcing the idea that they must fulfill certain roles to be valued.
Traditional gender roles, such as the concept that girls should behave like “daddy’s girlfriends” or adopting domestic roles from an early age, can have implications for their mental health.
Girls may feel overwhelming pressure to conform to gender expectations set by society and their families.
This can lead to anxiety, stress and low self-esteem if they cannot meet these expectations. These roles can also limit girls’ options and opportunities by restricting their interests and aspirations. They may be discouraged from participating and considering activities stigmatized as “for children” or they may be encouraged to focus on domestic and caring roles, rather than pursuing their own goals and dreams.
Gender roles perpetuate inequality and discrimination. Girls may experience discrimination in areas such as education, employment and political participation due to gender expectations embedded in society, being a girlfriend or being a wife and nothing more.
When girls are taught that their worth is tied to their ability to be desired or to become wives, they may internalize the idea that their self-worth depends on their ability to attract and maintain a romantic relationship, and this inevitably leads to a fragile self-esteem already a feeling of insufficiency if they do not meet these standards.
It can also lead them to endure abusive relationships in an effort to gain validation and this of course has serious consequences on your mental health.
The image of the girl praised for her beauty and waiting for Prince Charming, in this case the father, not only leaves her in a tragic trap of a complex exogamous exit, but also perpetuates the notion that women are objects for male consumption. and that its main purpose is to satisfy the needs of others. This makes it difficult to develop a solid autonomy and self-esteem independent of romantic relationships.
It is very important to warn and prevent parents or authority figures from promoting harmful gender roles, such as “girls’ boyfriends”, it is crucial to safeguard the mental health of children. To achieve this, it is essential to implement campaigns and conversations with families about how traditional gender roles can affect the mental health of girls and boys, including the risks of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. Raising awareness of these issues can motivate parents to reconsider their own attitudes and behaviors.
Knowing parenting models that promote autonomy, self-esteem, and mutual respect can help counteract harmful messages about gender roles. This includes encouraging parents to support the unique interests and aspirations of their daughters and sons, regardless of their gender, and promote family relationships based on respect and equality.
In this change, it is essential to have mothers, fathers and caregivers to actively challenge the gender stereotypes and encourage equality in all areas of family life and above all interdict incest. Playing at being dad’s girlfriend, proposed by parents, is not a game.
* Sonia Almada: has a degree in Psychology from the University of Buenos Aires. International Master in Human Rights for women and children, gender and domestic violence (UNESCO). She specialized in childhood and youth in Latin America (CLACSO). In 2003, she founded the civil association Aralma, which promotes actions to eradicate all types of violence against children, youth and families. She is the author of three books: The Frayed Girl, I Like the Way I Am, and The Girl in the Bell Tower.
